You know when you’re in the middle of a presentation during a staff meeting but realize that you still have remnants of a donut glaze stuck to your cheek?
Write that in the book.
Or when you accidentally send that meme of Dwight Schrute from The Office to your entire team but it was only meant for your coworker?
Write that in the book.
In response to Regina George’s “Burn Book” from Mean Girls, we’ve got the “Hot Damn!” book- Office Edition.
The “Hot Damn!” book is where we track when things go wrong in the office and share it with other office workers. Essentially, it helps us vent with people that truly understand what it means to have no more free snacks in the break room.
They’re also hilarious to look back on or cringe at the thought of, like that time when you got stuck in the elevator with Argerie and had to listen to her talk in detail about her dog’s birthday party.
“Does it look like I care about the cake you baked for your dog? Also, the other people in this elevator are definitely listening to this.”
So we’ve decided to share with you 12 of our random “hot damns” that happened at the office.
1. The Chinese Lantern feud with Walter.
Details: Walter from Creative Services is extremely competitive when it comes to office events. For last year’s Chinese New Year’s office party, each team was asked to create and design a Chinese lantern, similar to a grade 5 classroom party. Except someone was mysteriously spying on our progress and kept asking us about our “vision”. What is Walter’s life goal? Probably to crush us in these contests every time.
2. Someone stole Vanessa’s sandwich from the fridge.
Details: Everyone is a suspect. Trust no one.
3. Animal birth video.
Details: Curiosity about life’s miracles can lead us down a dangerous path of watching animal births during our lunch break. Next time, we must remember to turn down the volume when watching an elephant in labor (if you are about to click this link at work, turn down the volume!) or else its grunting sounds will draw unwanted attention.
4. After a week away, Stephanie’s water bottle sprouted algae.
Details: No further details required.
5. Laser Tag party for adults.
Details: Planning a secret surprise party for a coworker to Laser Tag when everyone invited is above the age of 26 means that you should discuss the plans in either the hall or in quiet whispers. Otherwise, your boss will walk by and probably re-think that promotion you’re going after.
6. The construction man helped himself to our office snacks.
Details: Watch him.
7. Spending the entire lunch hour catching Pokemon.
Details: What do you say to someone when they ask you how was your lunch break? “Oh it was fine, just grabbed a coffee.” Far from the truth. In reality, you were frantically trying to catch that Pikachu you heard was at Nathan Phillips Square.
8. Going out for Indian buffet before a client meeting.
Details: Just don’t do it.
9. When your coworker doesn’t accept your face on the Face Swap app.
Details: We all know that the Face Swap app makes everyone look really scary. But if your coworker literally shrieks at the sight of your face superimposed with his hairline, then that’s just plain rude.
10. Stephanie almost leaves the office at 1 pm.
Details: Vanessa convinced Stephanie that she received an email from their boss saying that everyone could leave the office early. Stephanie’s eyes immediately widened, started doing a little dance and announced that she was going to the mall.
11. Vanessa accidentally adds the wrong Nick on Snapchat.
Details: Vanessa asked Stephanie if she would have ever guessed that Nick on their team was a gangster outside of the office. Vanessa was convinced he was sending her snaps of his gambling, drugs, and bling. After a confusing discussion, Stephanie figured out that Vanessa added the wrong Nick on Snapchat.
12. No pencil sharpener anywhere.
Details: Needed to find something to sharpen my pencil, but can’t find one anywhere because it’s not 1999.
There you have it. Just a few things that made our day bleak at the office. Although these events were definitely not funny as they were happening, it’s actually pretty funny to look back at them now.
What are some of the random misfortunes that happened to you at the office? Let’s share and complain together!